Thorns
by midnyte-fox
Summary: *COMPLETE* Yes, it's actually finished! KuramaxHiei. Kurama's a bit unstable (emotionally), but is Hiei helping, or just making things worse?. What's wrong with Kurama? Yaoi
1. Midnight Thoughts: Prologue

I don't own YYH. Usual disclaimers apply. This popped into my head, and didn't even really start out to be a Kurama x Hiei story, but. It evolved. This is yaoi, needless to say. This is just the beginning, but if you like it, there will be more. Well, that's not quite true. There will be more if you like it or not, just to satisfy my own nagging creativity. Forgive the shortness of the first part!  
  
Contact is: midnyte_fox@yahoo.com  
  
Enjoy!!!  
  
~ midnyte-fox  
  
* * * * * * * * * This is a prologue; a description of Kurama's thoughts. The story itself doesn't start until the next chapter, and the tense is different. It will still be Kurama's POV, but past tense rather than present as this one is. ~ midnyte-fox * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
Have you ever wondered exactly where it is that emotions come from? What creates them? Why some can make your stomach hurt, and others freeze the muscles in your face so that you can't stop grinning like a fool, no matter how hard you try? Why it is that some of us can turn them off and on like a light switch, while others can't help but be overwhelmed?  
  
Like me.  
  
I try, and I hide my feelings away, but they're never gone. They never leave me in peace. They are always at the back of my mind, lurking, or on the tip of my tongue, waiting to spill forth at the most inopportune of times.  
  
Like when I'm with you. My mouth wants to open and spill all my secrets out to you, to see what you really think of me. I want you to know that I can't stop looking out my window, hoping to see you. I stay up late just in case you stop by. I am happy and nervous and afraid to see you, and yet if I don't, I feel almost as if I will die. I think my very being would wither without you.  
  
I pretend like I am unaffected, just so you won't know what you do to me. I wipe my sweaty palms dry, and take slow, deep breaths to calm myself. But I can't remain that way forever, just like you can't keep turning away. I know there is a bond between us, just as I know you're afraid to acknowledge it. You smile slightly, and dismiss my affection. Your crimson eyes become distant, and you cross your arms over your chest like you don't care. But I know your stance isn't nonchalant. It's defensive.  
  
Like any fighter, you always look around for an escape, and the moment I give you an opening, you take it. You stride to the window, carelessly, and disappear into the night. You leave me with my head in my hands, close to tears, and your voice rings in my mind, even though you haven't said it for a long time.  
  
"Hn. Baka kitsune. You've given in to those ningen emotions, Kurama."  
  
Yes, Hiei, I have. I can't seem to help it, where you're concerned. My heart clenches at the thought of you, my body aches to hold you. And yet you run away, either not knowing, or not caring. You ignore whatever it is we both feel. Or, at least, I think you feel it. You're always so careful not to touch me, not to meet my eyes. I can't take any more of the pain, Hiei. I have to tell you how I feel, or I may as well not live anymore. If I keep the pain bottled up inside, I will explode.  
  
I don't know how you'll react. You haven't given any outward indication of what you feel toward me, if you even feel anything. All you show is unconcern, a cold, uncaring façade. But I have to know.  
  
And may the gods help me, but I'm willing to risk even your wrath to find out.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Hope you liked it. Let me know! I'll finish it soon. Promise! 


	2. Frozen

I do not own YYH. Usual disclaimers apply. Here is the second part to Thorns. Hope you enjoy. Everything can be directed to midnyte_fox@yahoo.com  
  
Please forgive any typos. I might have missed one or two. I don't know, but. It's a possibility. Have fun!  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
The night was warm, and a cool breeze whispered in through my open window. It was late spring, and I had taken to leaving the window open as soon as the weather had permitted it. In all truth, perhaps even a little earlier than had been practical. If it was for any other reason than to have better air circulation, who was to say? I certainly had no intention of disabusing anyone of the notion.  
  
My hair was warm on the back of my neck, and I almost considered putting it up. I quickly changed my mind when I realized that Hiei could appear at any moment. I did not want to provide him with any cause to laugh at me. He would only tease me for a few moments, but I would see it in his smug smile for weeks.  
  
Grumbling to myself, I looked down at the history book and papers in front of me. While I usually found ningen history a fascinating subject, I had no desire to write a report on the feudal era of Japan. I was too restless, and my attention kept wandering.  
  
That it kept wandering, ever hopeful, to the open window was not something I was willing to admit, even to myself.  
  
Deciding that I shouldn't force myself to work, I laid aside my pen and shoved my papers out of the way. Crossing my arms in front of me, I put my head down on my desk. The cool grain of the wood on my forehead had an oddly soothing effect, and I allowed my eyes to close. I sat like that, drifting in my mind, but not really thinking, for some time, before I heard the slight sound of feet hitting the floor.  
  
I smiled. Hiei could move silently if he chose, and often did. He had seen me, and didn't want to startle. Sighing, I opened my eyes, sat up, and stretched languidly. No matter that my palms became warm and moist. I wiped them surreptitiously on my jeans. Even though Hiei's presence made my pulse race, I couldn't help but feel a little smug as I turned to face him. After all, I was on my own territory, and comfortable. Ningen items made Hiei unsure of himself, and it was a proclamation of friendship in and of itself that he even bothered to come into my room. Thus it was that I regarded him, secure in the fact that we were both a little uncomfortable, even if it was for completely different reasons.  
  
I looked at him before speaking, my eyes scanning his body for any sign of injury. He often came to me after a fight, allowing me to practice my healing skills on him. When I didn't find anything wrong, I continued to look, scrutinizing him, allowing myself the rare pleasure of gazing at him uninterrupted. He, thankfully, took it as concern.  
  
"Hn. I am not injured, Kurama. That is not why I am here." His surly tone was softened by the ease with which he stood. Normally he stood stiffly, hands shoved into invisible pockets beneath his cloak. Now he leaned against the windowsill, arms crossed in front of him casually. He looked straight ahead, and I regarded him in profile.  
  
I frowned. "Is there anything wrong?" Hiei didn't usually stop by unless he wanted something. He couldn't possibly have come in just to be social.  
  
"Hn." He looked around my bedroom, walking idly toward the bed. If I hadn't known better, I would have said he was dawdling, perhaps strolling. Not his usual swift pace. "I find myself growing tired of the ningens. They are so pathetically stupid that I get bored watching them. They make the same mistakes over and over again. They never learn. It's almost like they have no minds, no free will. No meaning."  
  
I watched him sit on my bed, fingers toying with an edge of my blanket. His face was distant, and he had an almost wistful look in his eyes. I continued to watch him, waiting for him to speak. It was unusual for him to open up to me like this, and I didn't want to dispel his willing mood. When he didn't speak, I stayed silent as well, half loving and half dreading the tension that radiated off him in waves.  
  
Finally, it got to me. I had to speak. "Hiei, what are you thinking about?"  
  
He looked sharply at me. "Life. Death. Love. Hate. The inevitability that comes along with them. The reason behind existence."  
  
I covered my confusion with curiosity. Hiei was not one to be random, let alone philosophical, and I found his words a little alarming. "What do you mean?"  
  
He looked at me impatiently. "You're the one with all the answers. You tell me. Why is it that I feel unsettled every time I look at you?"  
  
I blinked, surprised and bewildered at the direct question. Hiei stared at me, eyes holding all the pain of a thousand years torment. "I.Uh.What do you mean?" For once, my silver tongue turned to lead. I cursed my inability to respond with some semblance of wisdom. Thinking quickly, I sought for some piece of inspiration. My mind refused to cooperate. I cringed when I couldn't think of anything else to say.  
  
"Never mind." Hiei's face became shuttered once again, the wistful look fading from his eyes. I felt the loss of his openness like a knife in my chest. I didn't want him to leave, but I couldn't bring myself to ask him to stay. Fear engulfed me, and clogged my throat.  
  
He stood up, smoothing the blanket on my bed back down. With a single look over his shoulder, he started toward the window. And I, in all my knowledge and wisdom, was too surprised and rooted to the spot to do anything more than watch him go. 


	3. Irrational

I don't own any of these guys. I just like to make them go through my twisted, angsty plots. Hope you enjoy. Usual disclaimers. More will come after this.  
  
Midnyte_fox@yahoo.com  
  
Contact is above.  
  
~ midnyte-fox  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
I woke the next morning with the sun in my eyes. Glancing at the clock, I realized with some amazement that it was nearly ten o'clock. I never slept past eight. Then again, I didn't normally stay up until all hours of the night, confused and exhausted.  
  
I had tried to fall asleep. I had tried not to think about what he had said. It seemed the gods were against me, though, because no matter how tired I became, my mind still wouldn't let the matter rest. I must have gone over the exchange a thousand times, and every time I did, I kicked myself for letting him leave. Yet, at the same time, I was angry that he had dropped that question on me with no warning. I couldn't very well be expected to be glib in a situation like that.  
  
What did he mean that I made him feel unsettled? Was it the fact that I've developed the habits of a ningen? Was it concern? No, it couldn't be concern. Hiei couldn't have been concerned about me. He knows I am capable of handling whatever is thrown my way. That is, if he even thinks about it.  
  
I felt heat rise to my face. A little voice inside of me berated me for telling such a lie.  
  
I couldn't very well handle my feelings the previous night when I nearly broke down. I frowned in annoyance. How could he, a little koorime, make me unsure of myself. It wasn't fair. He had no right to interfere with my emotions.  
  
Shaking my head in annoyance, I threw off the covers. Rising and walking into the bathroom, I pulled a towel out of the closet. Laying it across the bar next to the shower, I began to undress, thankful that it was the weekend and I didn't have to rush.  
  
I turned the water on, breathing in the steam and letting the water heat to a point that was just warmer than was comfortable. I still enjoy the luxuries of hot water. Stepping into the shower, I let the water wash away all the negativity that had been dogging me for the last few weeks. My conflicting emotions warred within me, and I was barely able to keep both anger and despair under control. Finally, I pushed them to the back of my mind. My worries drained out of me, and I didn't allow myself to think. I preferred to stay in a state of thoughtlessness. I couldn't hurt if I didn't think. And I had all day to worry about the illogical rage. Now, I was just going to enjoy my shower.  
  
I was rinsing the soap from my hair when I felt a presence and heard the window click shut. Everything flooded back into my mind, and I swore, the anger surfacing.  
  
Hurriedly, I finished my shower and stepped out. Wrapping my towel around my waist, I opened the door and peered into my room.  
  
Hiei faced the window, not bothering to turn as I closed the bathroom door behind me. His arms were at his sides, hands shoved into his pockets.  
  
"Hiei?" I tried to keep the resentment out of my voice. He had disturbed me. I walked toward him, my bare feet sinking into the carpet.  
  
He continued to stare out the window until I reached him. When he did move, it was only to glance at me.  
  
"You're all wet, fox." His tone was calm and observant. I felt a flash of groundless rage. How could he be so collected when I was going out of my mind with the force of my emotions? All because of him.  
  
"I'm so glad you noticed." My tone was drier than autumn leaves.  
  
He chuckled. "We've been spending too much time together, fox. The others are going to accuse me of corrupting you."  
  
I looked at him askance. "What is that supposed to mean?" His easy tone struck me as odd.  
  
He turned, sitting on the windowsill. "You sounded much like I do just then."  
  
I blinked. "I suppose I did. Not that that's such a bad thing." I couldn't help feeling querulous.  
  
He looked at me curiously. "What's wrong?"  
  
I frowned. "Nothing." Except that you disturbed my peace, making everything rush back to me with godlike speed. I tamped down my emotions forcefully.  
  
He gave me a skeptical look, but I ignored it.  
  
"What brings you here? In the middle of the day, no less." My tone was short, almost biting. Warning flags raised in my mind as another part of me was shocked at my unusual display of temper. Hiding my confusion, I walked back to the bathroom, reaching for another towel to dry my hair, since I couldn't very well use the one wrapped around my waist.  
  
He didn't answer, and when I returned, he was sitting on my bed, amid the rumpled blankets, leaning against my headboard. I frowned at him.  
  
"Shoes and katana off," I growled, for lack of anything better to say. Part of me rejoiced at the sight of him in the middle of my bed, but another part wanted to throw him out.  
  
"Hn." Hiei looked slightly annoyed, but complied. "I don't see why ningens are so attached to material possessions."  
  
I sat down next to him. "Because so many of them feel the need to measure their worth, and the easiest way to do that is by what they own."  
  
Hiei snorted. "Baka ningens. Don't any of them know that material possessions are only that? They can be replaced."  
  
I finished toweling my hair, and looked up at the koorime. His mouth twitched, and I could see a glint of amusement in his eyes. "What's so funny?"  
  
He reached out and smoothed down a lock of my hair. I barely restrained myself from shivering as his fingers brushed the side of my neck. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to lean into the light touch or push him violently away. An unfamiliar emotion roiled in the pit of my stomach.  
  
"Your hair was out of place." His voice sounded huskier than normal. He reached up again, and moved closer, his fingers sliding through my hair. I froze, shivering, on the edge between desire and rage. His hand slid down my shoulder, fingertips barely brushing my skin. I shuddered.  
  
"H-H-Hiei." I could barely speak. Something was wrong. I realized my throat was tight with fear. My anger at the roiling emotions underneath my façade could easily erupt. I closed my eyes, trying to regain my control. What's wrong with me?  
  
Then his hand slid around to the back of my neck and his lips brushed mine.  
  
His mouth was so soft.  
  
Hope flared in my chest.  
  
Then anger burst out, and I pulled away wildly, moving to the other side of the room. I was shaking. I kept my back to him, not wanting him to see the feelings I couldn't control.  
  
Then he spoke, calm and cool.  
  
"I take it that you didn't approve."  
  
His tone was flat, and I ached to hear the defensive ice. Suddenly the rage drained out of me, replaced by dread. I turned.  
  
"Hiei, I-" I stopped short, squeezing my eyes shut to contain the tears that threatened to spill down my cheeks. I failed, and they coursed down my face in burning rivers.  
  
He was gone.  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Next chapter is on it's way. 


	4. Reprimand

Okay, guys. This fic is drawing to a close. It was going to b longer, but it just ended so well, that I decided to stop. If I become inspired, I'll write a sequel.. Sound good? Glad you agree.  
  
Hiei's a bit out of character. But, that's okay. I will say the angst turns to fluff toward the end. I can't help it. I hate sad endings unless I'm in the right mood.  
  
Usual disclaimers. As much as I would love to claim these two lovelies for my own, there's no possible way I could have been such a genius. Therefore, they are not mine, and I lay no claim to anything but my part angsty, part fluffy plot.  
  
Please give me more reviews! I'm greedy! And shameless! See, I'm begging!  
  
Thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far, and also to those who've read it. Your positive comments made me happy! *Hugs you all*  
  
Also thanks go to my koi, who I would not have been able to do this without.  
  
So, on to the fic!  
  
~midnyte-fox  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
Nothing mattered.  
  
I was a complete fool. I had let my anger overcome any sense I possessed. And the anger was irrational. I'd had no reason to feel such rage. What was wrong with me?  
  
Part of me insisted I didn't know.  
  
The other part just laughed, forcing something to the front of my mind where I couldn't look away from it.  
  
I was afraid.  
  
I closed my eyes, tears renewing their courses down my cheeks. I walked back to my bed, not caring that I was drenched, wearing only a towel. I sank down onto the mattress.  
  
I was afraid. It was true. I had been afraid that Hiei wouldn't feel the same way. Hell, I was afraid that he would. I was afraid of our relationship progressing any more, and yet I wanted it to so badly.  
  
I shook my head violently, and crawled up to lean against the headboard, where Hiei had been. His scent still lingered on my pillows, the smell of the trees and wind. Drawing my knees up in front of me, I wrapped my arms around them and buried my head in my arms. Hiei's voice echoed in my mind.  
  
"Baka kitsune."  
  
He'd said it so many times. Never had it been more true. I was a complete fool, worse than the ningens he hated so much. With misery and self- loathing foremost in my mind, I sobbed into my arms, tears mingling with the few droplets of water still left on my skin.  
  
Suddenly I felt wrong. My anger, my fear, all of it was wrong. It was uncalled for, evil. I was evil. Unclean. I had let Hiei touch me, soiled his hands. Who was I to dirty him thus? I gulped back my tears, taking deep desperate breaths. I didn't deserve him. He'd broken completely away from his normal self, gone completely on a whim, and had kissed me, touched me, opened up to me.  
  
And me? I had thrown it back in his face. I had closed his heart, proven to him exactly why human emotion was a weakness. Why it was worthless. Why I was worthless.  
  
I clenched my hands, nails digging into my palms. The pain was barely noticeable.  
  
Guilt clouded my mind, followed closely by overwhelming pain. A part of me cried out in warning, that something wasn't quite right, but I just took it as one more problem with me as a whole.  
  
Suddenly my room was too small, the walls too confining. I had to get away.  
  
Frantically, I threw my towel to the floor and searched for some clothing. Dressing quickly, I ran out of my room, down the stairs, and out the door. My mother was at work. Halfway down the walkway, I realized I should lock the door. I returned to the entranceway, fumbling with my keys, swearing as I took too long.  
  
Finally I heard the tumbler fall into place, and I sprinted off, shoving my keys in my pocket.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The forest was cool, trees shading my body from the sun as I ran. I had no destination, no goal. I only knew that I had to keep going. My sides ached, my legs burned, and every breath I drew was accompanied by a stab of pain in my lungs. My clothing tore as I rushed headlong, heedless, through the trees, until, finally, I fell sprawling onto the ground.  
  
My right hand landed at the edge of a small stream. The icy water trickled over my fingertips. I stayed prone, not sure if I ever wanted to move again.  
  
Reluctantly, I sat up, glancing to my left ankle, which had been ensnared by some plant or another. Heedless of the large thorns, I pulled it away from my body, noticing a large rip. Parting the cloth, I saw blood well from a deep scratch. It hadn't even begun to sting yet.  
  
Watching the red liquid soak through my clothing, I smiled. It was deeper, bigger than I had thought, to produce so much blood. Somehow, it all felt better. My anger, my confusion, my momentary insanity, was gone, replaced by a single, stinging wound. I watched the blood run, soaking into the ground beneath me. It stained the earth a dark, deep color, somewhere between darkest night, rubies, and chocolate. I was so fascinated, I didn't even hear the footsteps.  
  
I jumped when he spoke.  
  
"My foolishness is no excuse for you to go running headlong from your home to go hurt yourself."  
  
The acidic tones played on my ears like music. He was not happy, but he was here!  
  
"Hiei, I-"  
  
"Quiet." He knelt beside me, ripping away the fabric and probing my ankle. I gasped in pain. "Baka kitsune. This will take some time to mend." Without another word, he unwound his scarf, sliced part of it off with his katana, dipped it in the stream, and began to wash away the blood that was even now beginning to slow. I winced a little, but he just frowned. When he was finished, he tied the rest of his scarf around my ankle, winding it tight, and sat back a little.  
  
"Hiei-" I tried to speak, but he cut me off.  
  
"Kurama, what in the hell were you thinking?" He stood up, hands balled into fists at his sides, shaking with rage. "Never mind that. You weren't thinking. You were feeling, and letting those feelings run away with what little sense you've managed to retain." He glared down at me, crimson eyes slitted.  
  
"Hiei." I was at a loss for words. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Damn right, you're sorry! You had better be sorry after pulling that stunt! Of all the idiotic things! Don't you even realize what you feel? You're the one that's supposed to feel things. Not me. After I left. I felt it, baka! You snapped! You completely lost it! I don't know what did it, but we are going to have a good, long talk. Now, before I change my mind and leave you to your own psychosis."  
  
With that said, he pulled me to my feet, sliding one arm to hold my waist tightly.  
  
"Where are we going?" I looked down at him.  
  
"Where do you think? Baka kitsune. Your home. Hn." He glared up at me. "And no bolting this time." He moved slowly, snapping at me. "You'll lose even more blood if you put any weight on that."  
  
I frowned. "I'll be fine."  
  
He glared at me. "I would keep silent right now, were I you, fox."  
  
I felt the blood drain from my face. He was truly angry. Not like when he was violent, or annoyed. True anger. It didn't stem from ill will, so it had to be something else. Perhaps disgust. No, that wasn't right. He would have left me on my own, had that been it. Maybe he was disappointed in me. No, that wouldn't cause such anger. But that only left-  
  
Fear?  
  
I looked down at him. His jaw was tight, lips drawn thin. His eyes flashed between rage and some nameless emotion. My arm lay across his shoulders, and I could feel the tension that knotted his muscles. He was afraid. Or something akin to it.  
  
We reached my home shortly after two. I barely made it up the stairs, even with Hiei's help. My ankle was really starting to throb, but my head felt clear for the first time in what seemed like weeks.  
  
Hiei deposited me none too gently on my bed, and ordered me to stay put in a voice that sent chills down my spine. He was no less angry with me than he had been. I watched as he walked over to my closet and took a first aid kit from the shelf. After going to the linen closet and grabbing an old towel, he sat on the carpet at my feet.  
  
He spread the towel out on the floor, then unwrapped my ankle. The blood was still bright red. It hadn't quite stopped yet.  
  
Hiei opened the first aid kit, taking out a few packages of alcohol wipes. I bit my lip as he opened one and began to clean and disinfect the wound. The pain shot through me. I gritted my teeth. I had borne much worse. And I heal quickly. I would be fine.  
  
After most of the blood was removed, I looked down at it. The scratch was deep, cutting to the bone of my ankle. It stretched from the left side of the ankle on my left foot, around the front, and up the side of my calf, ending about halfway to my knee. It was only serious for about half the length, which I was grateful for.  
  
Hiei finished cleaning it and fished around in the kit for some clean white bandages. After a moment, he found a roll of gauze and proceeded to wrap the wound, expertly pulling it tight to keep the pressure on it. When he finished, he tidied things up, slinging the unsoiled towel over the back of a chair.  
  
I stared at him, dully realizing that I had no idea what to expect. Finally, he turned back to me, legs spread in an aggressive stance, and crossed his arms over his chest. His voice was like his katana, sharp and deadly.  
  
"What gives you the right to make me feel like this?"  
  
I flinched. "I-"  
  
"Let me finish." He looked at me angrily. "What gives you the right to preach to me about ningen feelings," he said it as if it were something distasteful, " and then when I open up to you, to become angry with me?" He turned away from me, walked to the open window. I remained silent, sensing he had more to say.  
  
I was right.  
  
"Kurama," he began, turning around to regard me from across the room, "when I first met you, I thought you would be cold and cruel. The famous Youko Kurama, renowned thief of the Makai. I thought you would be an asset, the perfect partner for the crime." His smile was ironic. "When I saw you, I nearly didn't want to go through with it. You were perfect. Beautiful. I wanted to know you. Not just as an associate, but as something more. Why do you think I was so cruel toward you? I knew that if anyone could break through the shell I had erected around myself, it would be you."  
  
He removed his cloak and katana, setting them neatly on top of my desk.  
  
"When I realized that, I had to close myself off even tighter. I could not afford anything getting in the way of my search for Yukina. That was all that mattered. I knew that if I let myself know you, suddenly it wouldn't just be about Yukina anymore. You were so kind to everyone I saw you interact with. I knew that if we became close, I wouldn't be able to search for her with the same intensity."  
  
His eyes met mine, solemn and angry.  
  
"When I was alone, it didn't matter as much if I died looking for her. After all, she didn't know about me. She couldn't be hurt by the death of a brother she didn't know existed. But, you. If I died, I knew you could be hurt. I wasn't willing to risk that. I couldn't. And yet, it didn't matter, did it? Yukina's safe, and here I am making a fool out of myself over some stupid fox who can't even figure himself out!"  
  
His voice has raised to shouting level. I cringed. His hands were back at his sides, fists clenched. He wasn't really looking at me. His gaze went over my head, at the wall behind me.  
  
"For all that I'm supposed to be the one who doesn't feel things, I can at least admit to myself that there is something between us! You! You close it off, worry about it, analyze it, pretend it's something else, warp it out of all recognition until you don't know what it was that was there in the first place! You go over it in your mind until you're so obsessed with it that you can't change it. You cling to the emotion, the turmoil, the pain of not knowing, because you're so afraid that once you acknowledge it and take action on it, it won't be there anymore. You're afraid it will change. For all your years with ningens, you still aren't used to the emotions. You still think that if it changes, it's different. Not better! Not worse! All you register is that it's gone!"  
  
He walked toward me, angrily. He stopped a few feet away, looking down slightly into my eyes. I was shocked. I could feel tears well at the corners of my eyes, then felt them overflow, spill down my cheeks. The pain was acute. He was right. I had caused everything. It was my own fault. I had been to afraid to let things progress as they should have. Therefore, I had tried to change it, to make it something I could define, handle, keep in a little box. I closed my eyes. Damn it, he was right!  
  
Hands on my shoulders made me gasp. I kept my eyes squeezed shut, afraid that if I opened them, he wouldn't be there any more. One hand moved, sliding into my hair and tightening into a fist, forcing me to tilt my chin up. I shivered as the other hand wiped the tears from my cheeks, rough, callused fingers smoothing over my skin. I dared not open my eyes.  
  
Soft lips crushed against my own as the hand in my hair tightened. The hand that had been touching my cheek slid around my shoulders, tightening, pulling me against him. His mouth moved over mine, demanding and harsh. I was pliant, yielding. My mouth opened under his, and the kiss deepened.  
  
Slipping directly from shock into desire, I lifted my arms to his waist, tightening them as he broke the kiss. He pulled my head back further, baring my throat. I opened my eyes briefly, meeting his. They were filled with a wild determination. I opened my mouth to speak. He cut me off.  
  
"Don't say anything. Baka. Don't you think I know that if I let you think, you'll close up on me again? You get no say until I'm done with you."  
  
I opened my mouth again, to protest, but his mouth on my neck drove all thought from my mind, and a small moan escaped my lips. I shivered. My senses reeled.  
  
I had never before realized how very easy it was to go from desperation and hysteria to blind desire. I shuddered. Fear tried to surface again. Then Hiei's hands were sliding under my shirt, touching my stomach, my back, my chest. He drew the garment up, over my head, and pushed me back. My body hit the mattress, and he followed, one knee on either side of my hips, holding me captive.  
  
I was shaking. "Hiei-"  
  
He smiled slowly, sensually. His voice, when he spoke, was husky, deepened with desire. "I already told you. Don't think. Feel." He lowered his head and nipped at my collarbone. I shivered, wanting. His body hovered above mine. Then he kissed me again, deep and demanding, pressing himself against me, and all thought deserted me for quite some time.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Thankfully Shiori works long hours. Neither of us noticed the time until we woke up, having dozed for a couple of hours. I blushed, thinking of what had transpired. Happily, I noticed one arm wrapped around my waist. I felt Hiei's breathing on the back of my neck.  
  
I started to turn. The arm tightened.  
  
"Hn. Did you have to move?" Hiei spoke into my ear, sounding for all the world like a querulous child having been woken up too early. I laughed, turning the rest of the way, and propping myself up on one elbow. Hiei sat up, leaning against the headboard. He surveyed the room. "Messy, weren't we?"  
  
I glanced around. Clothing was strewn everywhere. "Oh, well." I yawned.  
  
When I looked back at him, his eyes were serious. "Kurama, I don't want this to be forced for you."  
  
I looked at him in bewilderment. "Forced?"  
  
He nodded. "I want you to be comfortable with our relationship progressing to this level."  
  
I smiled. "Hiei, I wanted it as much as you did. I was just," I paused, "afraid."  
  
He looked at me, crimson eyes betraying nothing. "Are you still?"  
  
I shook my head.  
  
He nodded. "Good."  
  
I glanced at the clock. There was still another hour before Shiori came home. Rising, I walked toward the bathroom.  
  
Hiei watched me. "Where are you going?"  
  
I cast a glance back over my shoulder. "Shower." I kept walking.  
  
I didn't see him move, but I wasn't surprised when a pair of arms slid around me from behind as I stepped into the shower. I could feel him lean his cheek against my shoulder as the water streamed over us. Silently, I washed my hair, turning to blow bubbles at him from my hand.  
  
He blinked at me, eyes wide and surprised.  
  
I smiled and turned back around. "I love that expression." I lowered my voice. "And you."  
  
He tensed, but it quickly passed. He waited for me to rinse the soap from my hair. Then he bit down on the back of my neck. I gasped.  
  
He chuckled. "I love that noise." His voice was quiet, but forceful. "And you, too, kitsune."  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
It's all over! *Cries* Hope you liked it! 


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